Frustration

I can’t express how frustrated I am with my weight loss yet everything in my personal life has gone topsy turvy and right side up.

So the guy who told me I was too fat to marry is now my ex. I won’t say that part of me isn’t sad but I’m relieved that that huge cloud of negativity is gone. It’s shocking what we say in anger to each other. I didn’t get mad but he said some choice things in his anger and my low self-esteem put hooks into it and held on. And I’m lucky. I am. Because I knew he was a dead end. I knew deep down that if you can’t love yourself then you can love someone else. So I made myself available on other mediums to meet a good guy. And I did. He tells me I’m beautiful and after years of being told I have a “pretty face” I believe him. And it was hard to do so in the beginning. He hugs me and holds me with everything he’s got. It’s an amazing feeling. I’m beyond thankful that someone good has come into my life. 

Now the frustration is with my weight loss. I’ve plateaued 2 weeks now. Lent begins today. I’m thinking vegan for 40 days. Idk. Debating it. My knees are fucked up from a scavenger hunt I did in DC 3 weeks ago and I over used my knees. So they ache and my bakers cyst blew up. Argh!!! So debating doing medifast too. My friends have had crazy results. Dukan has been amazing but so tough to stick to. Maybe after lent I’ll look into the Dukan 2 diet.

I hope you are well. Take care of yourselves.

Advertisements